Whilst in an attempt to persuade my husband that we need to cover a single wall of our house with tropical palm tree wallpaper, he patiently turned to me and said: 'Lou, we don't live in the tropics, can we go for something a little more rural?'. He's right, of course, and I acknowledge that my longing for palm trees must now be relegated to photographing them when we are on holiday, not adorning my walls with them. There's a thing in me (I put it down to a childhood spent in Florida) where I love all things tropical. I can get with the Britishness of wellies and wool but deep down, I yearn for something more exotic.
Meanwhile an absolute truth of my life at the moment: I am governed by the sartorial constraints of my lifestyle. We live in a farmhouse, often surrounded by tractors ploughing the fields. Not a palm tree in sight! I notice that British people go through this seasonal shift at this time of year, where the shops are suddenly flooded with white linen and bikinis, even though the British summer can be somewhat unpredictable. It's rarely warm enough for white linen and even when it is, it seems slightly incongruous when worn; like we are children playing house.
My lifestyle doesn't really allow for the following items:
Silk kimonos - although I have three.
Slinky evening jumpsuits - oh, to have the occasion to wear one.
Flowing maxi dresses.
Stiletto heels.
Tulle.
The staples instead are:
Jeans.
Flats.
Woollens
Trench coats
More jeans.
I often ponder whether I should throw caution to the wind and disregard these protocols and wear whatever the hell I like? Can anyone recommend that approach? I realised that without even planning it, I am a proponent of 'normcore'. It's taken me a while to work out that 'normcore' looks fabulous on very pretty women who are, on the whole, very slim. If you see a beautiful woman wearing a white T-shirt and cutoffs on Pinterest, chances are she has those wonderful toned, brown legs and ombre, tousled hair. There's often a jaunty hat. There will usually be a palm tree in the background! Whereas the average British housewife....subliminally we all think we look like the Pinterest woman. I am sticking to that. It's all about inner beauty and a big smile, right?!
So I lust after retro wallpaper. I secretly inject random, ironical nods to a more exotic life in to my choices, but ultimately it's all pretty staid. But can I just say I really want some leopard ankle boots? And some electric blue Nike Air Max. And a pink sofa. And neon wall art. And a high-waisted bikini in corals and blues. Oh and a bright neon bra, ideally with a racer back. And a white blazer. Oh and these really cool Chloe sunglasses I saw somewhere. And really long hair. And a full-length, backless gown that drapes. Yep. ;-)
