Daily, I think I could do with writing something here, in this virtual space. It's been ages, I am starting to feel guilty. I think of things I want to tell you. This is what non-bloggers will never fully understand about bloggers; there is a CONSTANT inner dialogue of stuff I want to write about. For you, the unknown reader. Or the known reader (as a handful are). I make mental checklists of things I should point out; what seem like sparkling, erudite observations that I make, concocted as I am in the shower or stuck in traffic. Then they slip past like a never-ending game of Pooh Sticks, I can never quite identify which was my stick. I read so much, I see so much, a visual smorgasbord of images and quotes and soundbites, I forget what I have personally thought and what I have read. A thought that might have belonged to someone else?
And so...where was I?
We went to Dubai - it seems like a long time ago now, much has happened. It is only the faint tan lines I see on my skin that are a testament to the (brutal) heat there. We had a great time. Staying with family, doing cool things, seeing new things. We travelled around a lot and left the bizarre desert metropolis of Dubai and went cross-country to the Indian Ocean. I had never been in the Indian Ocean before; a lovely moment. As a surprise for my daughter we saw 'One Direction' newly formed of four not five. And yes we still miss Zayn! I have written before about Dubai here, as this was out third trip there in recent years (both of my husband's siblings live there) so it's becoming a mainstay. I do feel very lucky that we can see these places and increasingly as we travel as a family, we are becoming more bold. It's a good feeling; to push past boundaries and try different things. Holidays are not about relaxing on a beach any more and I really like that.
This I know for sure though: when you marry in to a family, you gain a family. My brother in laws and sister in laws form our little unit, now all moved to Dubai. Visiting them is half lovely and half heartache as I realise how much I miss them. No matter how hard we try, it's hard to remain part of someone's life when they live in another country. So I left with a heavy heart and have pored over the photos more than once.
During the Easter holidays my son turned ten! Double figures! He is ten! I find this startling and comforting at the same time. I used to think, when he was born, that when he would be ten, my daughter would be nearly fourteen and I would be 41. And those numbers seemed impossibly far away then. Now they are here I am staggered at how fast the time went. So all those wise people who say it goes in the blink of an eye were right.
I feel like the Easter holidays were also an onslaught of teenager demands, to which I am struggling to keep pace. I gotta say: she's running rings around me! Trying ever so hard to stick to all of the resolve I have alluded to before here. I can honestly say that this stage of parenting has been (and remains) as demanding as the newborn stage. Have I said that before? I feel like I have, but maybe I just walk around thinking it? It's not as physcially exhausting but as a good friend pointed out to me today, 'It's a complete head-f**k. Yes. Quite.
I carry on.
Days are interspersed with internet hunts for spring wardrobe items - the perfect underdressed jumpsuit (a wardrobe staple: so say this stylish friend and this stylish friend). A white blazer. I pulled on my pale pink chelsea boots bought in Amsterdam last Autumn - but too pale to wear over winter - and it brought a smile. Yes, I am that person. I greet a new season like a new friend who I really want to buddy up with.
And of course my Pinterest obsession continues - what did I say about a visual smorgasbord??!! Any one who follows me there will see that I pin at 6am every morning, this is a telltale sign of my waking thoughts, surely?!
And finally I returned to yoga after a four week break - I can't tell you how good it felt and how hard it was. I honestly think everyone should do yoga. It is the answer to all. I had a major relapse in the pain I experience whilst I was not doing it (long story; dental issues, low-level, long term stress-related teeth clenching). I am not stressed for sure, but I am a person who holds stress. A sad truth. I am now thinking maybe I need hypnosis?! Rewiring in the way I react to things? Any thoughts? I am all ears...
It's good to be back.
