Most of the day I have been biding my time in between rain showers, waiting for the opportune moment to head to the beach for a walk. It's raining then sunny, then raining. Always cold. I look back on previous year's blog posts from January (the beauty of having written a blog for five years; appreciating seasonal trends) to see where my head was at before now. Yep - pretty much the same place - angry at the weather and restless. Parenting struggles. Bridging the chasm between doing what is right and what is fun. Right = sticking, setting boundaries, making good, caring. Fun = drinking a chilled beer in the sun with my friends.
I ordered some books from Amazon; I am still the one who loves a crop of books. I download too but there is still nothing like a new real book. I started 'Wild'. I am a chapter or two in and found it too raw to read about the death of her mother. Had to stop. I started 'Bossypants' and I was laughing out loud. I am saving 'The Rosie Project' for later. I am also considering watching a trashy box set end to end in a day. Just for lolz.
Feeling a little displaced.
I console myself with an on line shopping spree in the sales and the prospect of at least waking up to the light rather than the dark. One day.
We got Spotify - late to the party, I know. I find myself perusing songs from the 1990's and surreptitiously playing the soundtrack to 'Reality Bites'. There was a time when 'My Sharona' did not feel like a distant memory of my daiquiri-stained University days. I was Generation X after all. I wonder where the time has gone? This weekend I am meeting up with my University buddies. There were six of us who shared a house in our second and third year. I feel like I need to see them so much it aches! So strong is the need to be with people who get me. They get me like no others do.
Strangely I am without my engagement ring at the moment. When I was skiing, the on/off of gloves caused the diamond clasp to break. I feel bereft. Just a wedding ring on my left hand. A wedding ring that has actually worn my finger thin. The price you pay ;-)
Thank you for all of your comments about parenting teenagers. Those words of wisdom are like money in the bank to me. I shall store them up for the next time things get testing. What would I do without this outlet?