As is regularly documented here, it is with a collective sigh of relief that a school term ends and we all get some time off from the routine. The early mornings, the endless car travel, the sport fixtures, the school gate politics, the homework and so on. I relish the idea of school holidays, especially the Christmas one. At my children's previous school, the term would be concluded with a beautiful church service for all of the year groups in a chilly country church near here. And when I had younger kids, the holidays would mean lovely festive rituals and it would all be a sweet (if somewhat frenetic) build up to the main event.
I gotta say: something has changed this year.
As last year we skipped the norm and went to Dubai, I thought we'd be reasserting the old traditions this time, picturing myself with my little gaggle of children and dog, on beach walks followed by hot chocolates, discussing Santa's list. However it hasn't quite worked out that way. There has been a distinct change and my children (nearly 10, and 13-going-on-16) have not really wanted to do that much. For a few days I thought OK fine; they lolled about in their PJ's and I busied myself. My husband was away on business all last week, but then this weekend no improvement. Still PJ's, still gadgets and phones for entertainment, not so much Christmas cheer.
I am not sure what to do about this.
Is this just my family?!! Is this an age thing?! Have I gone wrong somewhere? As usual, my husband returned from his trip, jet-lagged, and I asked him: 'Is this normal? Why are they such slugs?' His response: they are decompressing. They need a break. They're fine.
I am sure they are, but as with most parental phases that blow through, this one feels tinged with nostalgia for those days when they were more engaged in the process. There is excitement for sure, but simple activities like decorating the tree haven't, this year, held their interest. I think back to when I was a teen - how was it for me? I do recall (rather starkly) the realisation that Christmas became a way to accumulate the things I wanted in life. But I do recall close family times with just my brother and my Mum, watching Christmas films.
Is there a teen transition around Christmas that I need to instigate?! We had a number of girls to sleepover the second or third night of the holidays - they flooded the bathroom and giggled a lot. And stayed up too late. I love the house full of teenagers; there is something vital about it. But is it festive in the way it used to be when they were little? Not really!
As ever, this is how it goes with me. By the time I have realised there is a shift, it's shifted.
So my real life Christmas is like the TV ad's but as well...yet another reminder that life marches on and our family is morphing as we go. It's honest and real and I feel a little bit like an observer at times. You have to make your own happy.
Bradley Cooper anyone?
