Each new season I tell myself I don't need any new clothes. Then the weather turns and I go into just one shop and I am awash with lust (I can find no other word to describe it: it is lust) for new items. The potential of a new season. It offers a distraction. Autumn is the worst for this. Partly due to our temperate climate and the knowledge that when it turns cold, it will stay that way for at least six months. But also due to the possibility of richer fabrics; woollens and heavy silks and leather boots. I even want a felt hat. Never has a hat featured in my wardrobe, but this season it becomes a new requirement.
I wonder how I have survived so long without a hat?!
The transition from weekend to weekday is never more apparent than in Autumn. We are just becoming accustomed to the new school term, the cooler feel to the air, the suddenly darkening dusk reminding us that it won't be long till it will be pitch black at 4.30pm. Ohhh long winter!! Monday mornings mean drop off and straight to yoga. I do this with a couple of friends and an amazing teacher who is the most gentle soul. Somehow every week, I turn up feeling harried and cross and every week I leave feeling calmer. I think Monday morning yoga should be a medicinal solution for everyone. Imagine how differently the week would start off if everyone had an 8.30am yoga class?
I know how lucky I am. I have mentioned that I do a power yoga class aswell and how hard it it. The Monday yoga is totally different and I quite like the juxtaposition of the two. How interesting that the same basic activity can produce such different feelings in me? I even got a new yoga mat. I invested in a lifetime mat; it gets better with wear. I like the thought that this mat and I are going to take a journey together for many years. The mat cost more than the aforementioned hat; a sign of investment that I have realised that yoga will be part of my life always now. No matter what.
I have a friend who has been through a tough time lately. She started something brave and new in her life; in the way that we are all encouraged to, she followed her dream. After a year of working very hard and envisaging a lifestyle that she thought would make her happy; in fact that opposite has occurred. It's so hard when that happens; after all that sacrifice and investment, things didn't turn out how she thought they would. I try to console her but know that only time will heal her bruised soul. I think about my little venture into the small business world and feel a fresh smart of the same type of bruise; the 'I tried, but it didn't work out' bruise. They say that resilience is all. When I worked for the big corporate we did lots of analysis on what made good leaders. What characteristics were displayed by our most successful executives? The one most revered: resilience. Being able to bounce back.
Am I the bouncing back type? I am more like a slow burn, I mull it all over and reach my conclusions. I do see that overthinking is a big disadvantage.
In all things, not feeling too deeply can save so much heartache and ultimately, are those who have shallow waters the ones who succeed in life?
One to ponder...
Meanwhile, life is a whirl of house, kids, dog, husband, driving and cooking. The mundanity can close in. I try not to let it. I saw some old, old family friends today, who knew me when I was a baby. Some good advice from them. Go outside and do some stuff. Get immersed in something you love. Don't look for gain in it. Don't sit on the computer all day. Travel and see stuff. Don't get cross. Stay calm.
Bounce back.
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