There's a lot of 'YOLO it' in our house right now. For the uninitiated YOLO it means YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. This phrase, often coined by my daughter is used to describe any decision that is even remotely 'out there'. More broccoli with dinner; 'YOLO it'. Go on the trampoline in the rain; 'YOLO it'. Embrace every precious minute that life throws at you; 'YOLO it'. So I figured - change the design of my blog; 'YOLO it'. Feeling rather pleased with the result. All it took was a download from blogmilk and my Dad's technical expertise and the next thing I knew I had the blog equivalent of white-washing the walls. I'm not gonna lie - I love it.
Blogs are strange places. I have written this blog for nearly four years and though all it really represents is a place in the internet ether; not a tangible thing I can hold or feel, it still is important to me. One way to describe it is like an old friend I can visit who totally 'gets' me. In that time some people, friends even, have expressed incredulity at why I need to write it. I've been shy about it and bashful. I have fretted over comments and made important life decisions based on what I and others have written here. See what I mean? Strange! It matters enormously to me and for as long as it does I will still care that people read it and that I write it (and that it has a swanky make-over every now and then for that matter!)
Meanwhile my Monday morning required a decision between early morning yoga or early morning beach walk; I opted for the latter. Oh, the decisions I face! The beach was deserted and just so beautiful. It's my happy place at the best of times but today; high tide, it was near perfect. I walked so far along the coast I came to the part where the really exclusive houses perch right on the water; the closest place we have to The Hamptons - or at least as I imagine, having never been to The Hamptons. Note to self: really want to go there, along with Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket.
So there I was, alone on the beach, the very place that so perfectly captures my introvert self, only a few stray dog walkers in the distance and miles and miles of sea. Then it hit me; a feeling of disquiet that I was TOO happy! This is so typical me - not just introverted but also self-critical - I found myself wondering: can one be too happy?! And much like sea fog, the existential angst set in. I laughed out loud at myself. I notice that I am so enjoying myself at the moment, so very grateful for my lot, that I get these questioning emotions where I wonder if I deserve such good fortune. Then I conclude with a deep breath of fresh air: it's fine, it's all good - 'YOLO' it.
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| via a sunny afternoon company |
