My thoughts have ranged from the silly (obsessing about what winter boots to buy; this is an annual thing for me - the possibility of a new season ahead always gets me thinking: boots.) to the huge (visiting my lovely sister in law yesterday, who sadly lost her father last month and is third trimester pregnant and at the same time, has a cute-as-a-button but very busy and advanced toddler to care for.) Life looms large sometimes.
I am employing a fierce protectiveness over my time each day, building in buffers of time to chill and read. This year I did what I always do on holiday - which is to immerse myself in books, finishing six in two weeks. All of my education comes flooding back to me - literary criticism from University days - and I just want to read more and more. Usually, I have stopped almost as the aeroplane touches down on home soil, and books get relegated to my suitcase unfinished (which is almost criminal!). This time I am taking the impetus to keep reading, it's good for me.
I feel a bit like I have a new job, that I am the new girl - the new full time mother and housewife. The 1950's feel of this makes me smile, until I realise that there is no longer the excuse to drop the ball and have no food in the fridge or no clean clothes to wear; now all eyes are on me to make those things happen. Who am I kidding? Those things were always my job, but now it feels different; I have a pride in it as I adopt this new vocation. I remember before, when I took time out from work, that I got this amazing sense of time stretching out ahead of me. I could say 'yes' to invites and fit things in that used to allude me. And there was food and clean laundry...
I do admit I am spending time getting a new wardrobe for my new vocation! All of those smart work clothes no longer needed; now I am studying the school mums to spot day time sartorial elegance. It's no easy feat when you get up at 6.30am and have to leave on the dot. There is a whole new art to getting out the door looking assembled, not try-too-hard, but not mundane and dull. I am also entertaining the idea of hanging out in fitness wear all day as I am trying to run or do yoga or circuit training most days. I have spent a good period of time lusting over the Lululemon website, imagining myself flitting about town wearing cool yoga clothes. I wanna be one of those women...yep I admit it.
The weekends have, in a few short weeks, morphed into an extravaganza of sports fixtures for our children. My son played his first school football match (amazing how at eight years old it really isn't about the taking part, it's about the winning - for the record, they lost 3:1). The penny has dropped that if we want our kids to play sport, and they are picked for the school teams (big accolade and kudos for them) then we spend our time ferrying and watching like a tag team. For all that was made in 2012 Olympic year about this country taking on sport for our younger generation, I realise that the commitment is also on behalf of the parents, who make it happen. I am fine with this; I want them to play. Raising sporty kids has to be good, hasn't it - but long gone are the Saturday lie-ins!
Meanwhile the house-build comes on and my tan fades and the nights draw in. Autumn seemed to arrive overnight. Looking forward to it; back to school, fresh start.
