All week I've had blog guilt; feeling like I need to write, say hello, catch up. But no opportunity seems to have presented itself after days of Christmas preparations, Nativity plays, choir concerts and seeing friends. I am trying to make the most of this, my final day of alone, before a month of school holidays.
There are lots of uncertainties at the moment and I am going to just let them sit; to not be too scared of the unknown future. For me, as this year closes, I will see the end of my little life-changing experiment. I have decided to return to work, part time, in January. I need to see if it is possible to work again and for it not to have an adverse effect on my life.
There have been so many times when I have considered giving it all up and making motherhood and the home my career. But I have had to be honest and assertive with myself and face the fact that work, for me, is a good thing. I also need to acknowledge that my children are getting older; my daughter will start senior school next year, with all that that entails. It won't be so long before their need for me will be less and I am acutely conscious of having something for myself when that happens. Work could be it?!
'Assertiveness' should be my new by-word as I feel like I need to assert myself in so many areas. I need to be expressive about how I want to balance work with my life and see if it is humanly possible to take a backseat and let others have a glittering career, while I simply have a fulfilling job. I need to just take a deep breath and and see what's happening outside the window...
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